Tuesday, February 15, 2005
pa.. m sorry.. dun really noe how to start off.. but.. m sorry pa.. i had an email account meant specially for u.. with emails written specially for u every now n den one.. but.. to my horror.. everythin is gone.. all gone.. coz i too long din log in to e account.. now.. everything is gonee..
m feelin so sad.. so hurt.. dunno how to describe .. but.. it juz seems tt suddenly i haf lost something impt.. something very very impt tt is meant for pa.. some memories tt is meant for pa n me.. m really really really very upset..
initially.. i was thinkin abt many things.. couldn't sleep in e middle of e nite ard 4+.. so decided to cum online to write an email to pa.. but.. yet i discovered such a thing.. tt e emails r all gone.. so.. from a already quite sian n sad me.. i became even more sad n down..
was feelin so lost juz now.. realizing tt all r gone.. so..dunno y.. i ended up readin our blogs.. readin what pa wrote last time.. his last "diary".. readin readin.. den.. somehow.. tears juz rolled out n i started cryin n cryin..
pa.. i really miss u alot alot.. i really miss pa.. no1 can replace pa's position.. i really miss e times we all hang out together n play etc.. really really..
den.. somehow.. read nelles msg also.. seeing tt durin tt time.. she say she will miss pa etc..to lately she say miss etc.. somehow.. seems like all empty tok.. ... nelle.. pls prove to me tt u r not like tt.. plssssss.. i really feel very hurt n upset tt how cum u dun bother to contact us.. n... thinking back.. i sometimes really feel tt i'm so stupid.. tt i treasured our frenship.. but end up.. u gave up on it..
nelle.. pa.. i really miss u all.. really miss e days in gy n be4 u go ns.. when we took pics together n my camera spoil etc.. there's juz so much so much memories of us together.. 7-8 yrs of frenship.. it really mean alot to me..
n pa.. i really wonder how r u doin inside.. got 7 mths din see u liao.. e last time i saw u was on 6/7/04.. as written in e blog earlier.. really wonder if u skinnier liao or fatter liao.. if it is very tough inside.. how u spend ur time etc etc.. ... luckily we had this blog goin since long ago too.. if not.. i wun haf remembered n realised tt 6/7 was e day u had ur trial in court.. ... perhaps this/tt would be a day u wun wan to remember.. but for me.. it was a "special/impt" day...
pa... once again.. m really sorry.. i will update u with more of my/our stuff in e email acc n in this/my blog again.. ...haiz... still.. i really cannot accept n believe all is gone... i really hate n blame myself for it.. m really sorry pa.. .. to think tt in my letter to u.. i even mentioned tt i haf this email acc meant specially for u.. wif mails to u.. but now.. i haf to disappoint u.. n tell u tt all is gone...... wad a idiot me.. m so sorry once again..
pa.. take care.. peeps.. take care too.. bb......
MiNtY
[2/15/2005 04:56:00 AM]
